OOBE

A few days ago, for no particular reason except that I happened to be thinking about some of my discussions that day, I took a marker and wrote on one of the flip charts in our conference room reserved for internal meetings, the phrase, “Criticism provides an opportunity for improvement.” I came back into that room for some reason the next day and found that someone had added the word “Constructive” to the phrase to create a new phrase, “Constructive criticism provides an opportunity for improvement.”

It took about four nanoseconds for that act to really get under my skin. I guess our society has advanced to the point and we are so smart that we can now be selective as to what we are willing to learn based not on the value of the content, but the style by which it is delivered. It would seem to me that such an attitude most certainly retards the learning process as it keeps outside the door any knowledge that might be delivered in a manner that just doesn’t suit us. I don’t know a lot, but I do know that in competitive business landscapes with individuals at all levels vying for significance, value, position, and money, not all criticism is offered with the purest of motives or the sweetest tone. Some of it stems from jealousy, some from competitiveness, some from insecurity, and some from just plain old meanness! And yes, some criticism does originate from individuals that truly are trying to help us achieve our full potential as employees and as human beings. But the ratio of the Pareto Principle probably applies to this phenomenon as it does in many other situations. I wouldn’t be surprised if 80% of all criticism is delivered with a less-than perfect approach and some ulterior motive.

I will guarantee you that somebody that maintains an attitude of receptivity when receiving criticism from another individual, regardless of how it is delivered, will learn and grow faster than one that “goes deaf” when the approach used by the messenger is impolite, rude, vindictive, or inappropriate.

I learned many years ago to turn off all filters when criticism comes my way. I try and take it all in and offer no reaction to the messenger except to thank them for sharing what they think and how they feel. Then—when I am alone—I review all the points that were made and try to objectively evaluate the degree of validity in what was shared. If I am lucky, I find some truth in the content that helps me recognize shortcomings of which I may have been unaware or simply didn’t want to face or admit. Those discoveries provide an immediate opportunity to learn and grow—and an opportunity to go back to the person that criticized me and thank them for helping me see where I can improve. It really doesn’t matter if 80% of what they told me was rubbish and completely untrue, I try and concentrate on the 20% that can be leveraged to increase my knowledge, value, and impact.

Get the last laugh on all the people that are trying to “get you” by being overly critical of you or your efforts. Ignore their delivery and use whatever truth they share with you, be it ever small sometimes, for your own advantage. You won’t believe how fast your pace of learning will accelerate and how small some of them begin to look in your rear view mirror.